Monday, August 17, 2015

Chopsticks || Restaurant Review

There's a longstanding belief in Abuja that chopsticks is one of the best restaurants for Chinese around, so on a particularly hungry Ramadan evening, Mr. H and I decided to go there for Iftar. There we were, innocent diners anticipating a calm, beautiful evening of delicious Chinese food.

Well, there was Chinese food, but there was no calm and beauty!

First off, there was no host or maitre'd. We walked in and stood for over two minutes. no one came to help us and no one even noticed new customers had come in.

After a lifetime of awkwardness, we decided to seat ourselves down at the nearest empty 2 seat table. Minutes later, some people came and said this was their table! They'd just stepped out to get something from the car. There was no reserved sign and no waiter told us it was already occupied.

So we excused ourselves and looked for another table.

Minutes later menus appeared. Who exactly dropped the menus? We're not too sure. But we perused them anyway.

While we were still deciding what to order, a middle aged waiter appeared. He didn't say a word. Just stood there with his hand on his waist.

Awkward silence

Awkward silence

More awkward silence.

I break the ice and ask for chicken dumplings, Singapore noodles and beef in black bean sauce with Guangzhou fried rice.

'Any drinks?' I asked Mr. H and Before he could answer the waiter stormed off.
We hadn't even finished our order!!!
He's nowhere to be found for another 5ish minutes.O
He suddenly returns with a puss on his face. But I was madder.
'So we were giving you our order and you just walked away like that?'
'No, I was giving you time to decide.'
'Then you SHOULD have excused yourself.'
'Sorry,' he said, but clearly didn't mean it.
At this point I was certain homeboy was gonna spit in our food.
We ordered a chapman for me and a large bottle of water for the table.
30 minutes later our dumplings arrived. A very grumpy waitress, holding the steamer with one hand between her waist and elbow dumped the basket on the table without saying a word!
'Where are the sauces?' I asked a puzzled Mr. H. There was no chili oil and no soy sauce!
They arrived 5 minutes later along with chopped cabbage. Dumped on the table by a mute waitress.
Meanwhile, we notice the two ladies eating on the table beside us were also having shitty-mute-zombie service. But the Chinese business men that had just come in were being treated like kings. As were the Caucasian couple two tables behind.
At least the food was good.
The chicken dumplings were okay, though a little chewy and lacking in seasoning but the chili oil and soy sauce helped.
For the Singapore noodles; I was expecting an authentic mee goreng but what we got was a nice stir fried noodle dish with generous chicken and jumbo prawn portions. I loved that they used 'real' egg noodles and didn't just try to pass off indomie or spaghetti like some restaurants do.
The beef in black bean sauce was average. Wish you could taste the black bean more but hey, it went down pretty quickly so that's a good sign.
As soon as we were done and drank enough water, I looked for a waiter or waitress to get us our bill but there was no one. *sigh*
After spraining my neck, mute waitress finally notices me. I ask for the bill and she walks of while I'm still talking. Something I've already become accustomed to in my 1hr 30 mins stay at chopsticks.
She dumps the Dossier on the edge of the table. When she saw that we were paying by card, she makes a face and storms off.
That's the third time someone's stormed off from our table. DramaQueens.
I was tempted to just take my bag and pull a runner but that would be stealing. If only.
Mute Waitress returns without an eftpos machine. Then goes back to get it, dragging her feet.
We finally paid and got the hell out! In fact we couldn't get out fast enough.
Bottom Line: I can confidently say that this is the worst service I have ever had at a restaurant. Seriously. Fine dining has to do with a lot more than just fancy plates and shiny crockery. What use is having a decent food when your service is shit? It ruined the entire experience for me and I sure as hell will not be going back to Chopsticks!
But I'd eat if someone buys me takeout. :P
What's the worst service you've ever had at a restaurant?


  1. That's the problem with most abuja restaurant they lack customer service..

  2. I know right? But we keep patronizing them cos we have very limited choices. I really hope the managers of chopsticks see this review because this is actually a toned down version of what really happened. It was so much worse in real life. Thanks for dropping by Ayush! 🌸